It’s amazing how things change once your husband starts to talk with a counselor or marriage coach after you’ve discovered he has sexually betrayed you. Finding out that your husband has been unfaithful to you, or that he has been dabbling with pornography was incredibly hurtful. Perhaps, this is the situation you’re in right now, and you need a little bit of encouragement about whether or not this is going to work for your marriage.
Here are three things you and your husband will notice fairly quickly when he decides to seek help by honestly sharing his feelings and struggles with a professional. Remember, the goal for both of you is freedom from those habits that are doing damage to your relationship and your marriage.
HE BEGINS TO COOPERATE WITH GOD
Amazing things start to happen when we cooperate with God. This is true even if we’re hesitant or if we doubt that it will make a difference in our lives. God understands our reluctance to change as human beings, but when your husband reaches out to Him, there’s an incredible transformation that takes place in him from the inside out. You’ll notice that he’ll become authentic, he’ll take ownership for the mistakes he made, and he is willing to do whatever it takes to create safety and security in your relationship. One surefire sign that you husband is serious about changing is his desire to lead spiritually in the marriage. He is eager to read a daily devotional with you, is happy to help the children dress for church and takes time to pray with you. He’ll begin to see that freedom from the chains of infidelity and dishonesty is possible because he is getting honest with God and you.
HE STARTS TO VALUE YOUR MARRIAGE
As God begins to work in your husband, he will start to remember how he felt about your marriage when you first got married. The passion will start to rekindle in his heart, only it will be renewed with God’s power behind it. He’ll have a deep desire to heal because it will mean healing himself as well as the pain he has caused for you. He does what it takes to take care of you and expresses his love though various caring behaviors that are meaningful to you. In a way, it’s as if God opens his eyes to the plans He has for your marriage, and that is such a great revelation.
HE IS FOCUSED ON INTEGRITY
As God transforms your husband and gains understanding of how important your marriage is, a deeper level of integrity will be born within his heart. He will desire accountability from you, his coach or counselor and support group. He gives you username and passwords to access his phone, social media accounts, checking and savings accounts. There is radical honesty in every aspect of his personal life. He maintains his commitment to you and your marriage for the long haul, but most of all, he will desire it to maintain his commitment to God. Honesty will become important to him, and he’ll be thrilled with the changes in himself because of his honesty. That’s because when he’s finally doing the right thing and making good decisions, he’ll be able to sleep at night again and he’ll feel good about himself. It will take time for you to begin to trust your husband again. But if he is consistent with his actions that trust will slowly begin to rebuild.
It’s really amazing what happens when we get answers for addictions that have plagued us for years. God is the answer, and as Christian marriage coaches and counselors in Beaufort, SC, we would love to help you discover that answer for your marriage.
Whether you’re a woman who is praying fervently that her husband wants to save your marriage or you’re a husband who is searching for help, turning to God can change everything for your marriage.
