Christian Counselor Directory Blog

Researchers will tell you that marriages end in divorce because of issues in these top 3 areas:communication, sex, and money.

• Communication issues will range from not talking to one another (not opening up) to continuous conflicts or verbal abuse.
• Sexual issues could range from not having enough sex with someone having an affair.
• Money issues could include fighting over not having enough to pay bills (and the stress it produces), to battles over who will pay for what and the separation of finances as a means of control. All three of these issues have one common denominator in them: lack of trust.

We all know communication is key in relationships. There are several ways to improve your practical communication skills, money management, and sexual connection. But, I want to address the deeper issue of trust that can undermine a relationship in all of these areas.

If you value trust in your relationship, you will not only trust your spouse, but you will be trustworthy. You will be fully committed to them and loyal to them. If you trusted your spouse, you would give them the benefit of the doubt that they would never do or say anything to harm you intentionally. And you would behave the same way. Trust means you have given yourself fully to one another and will mutually care for the other’s heart as your main priority.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

Several years ago, the Lord highlighted the Hebraic calendar to me. I think the times and seasons of the Lord are very significant for us as His people, and we can learn a lot about what is important to God by studying His calendar and His plan as it is laid out in Scripture.

This past year, on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), I gave a message at my church about the new Hebraic calendar year, the year 5777, which had just begun on Rosh Hashanah, 10 days prior. It was beautiful timing because these days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are called the Days of Awe, or the Days of Repentance.

These are the days when traditionally, the Jews believed that God opened up the book of life to inspect his sheep and evaluate his people. During this time, the Lord is measuring the words, deeds, and heart of his people, just as a shepherd measures his sheep as they pass beneath his rod. The Days of Awe are a time of repentance, a time of crying out to Him, just as David did, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).

You’ve probably heard that the word repentance means, “to turn away,” and that is true. But what’s more important is what you are turning to. The word literally means “return.” It is a picture of returning to God, to see things the way He sees them and to confess that what He says is true.

I’d like to share a few thoughts about the current Hebraic year that we are in, the year 5777. We know from Scripture that numbers are important to God. The number seven is found everywhere in Scripture and is a symbol of perfection. There are seven days of the week, seven feasts of Israel, seven lamps on the golden lampstand, seven Spirits of God, seven churches in Revelation, etc., so I believe that this year is a very important year for God’s timing and bringing things to completion and breakthrough.

The symbols for the year 5777 literally mean “May this be the year of the sword,” and the year is represented by the Hebrew letters Hey, Tav, Shin, Ayin, and Zayin. Every letter in the Hebrew alphabet is a symbol with deep meaning, signifying a number, a picture, and a sound, which is fascinating to me as a musician.

The letter Hey has a numerical value of 5. The letter represents divine grace, breath, spirit, revelation, and the light of God. Literally, it means behold. We are in a season of grace where the Spirit is moving and bringing new revelation and insights into the knowledge of God.

The next two letters, the Tav and Shin, have the numerical values of 400 and 300, forming 700.
This is the seventh century in a season of divine grace, a beautiful time of awakening and repairing of the Kingdom.

The letter Ayin has a numerical value of 70, and the letter Zayin has a numerical value of 7, forming the last two numbers, 77.

The Ayin symbol is made up of a pair of eyes and knees bent as in prayer, signifying eyes to see and to obey. It is a picture of submitted servant leadership. In Luke 10, Jesus sends out 70 disciples, giving them the power and authority to preach, heal, and cast out demons. In Numbers 11, Moses appoints 70 elders that received the same Spirit that rested on Moses. These were leaders who served leaders in perfect submission to God.

The final number, seven, is the number of perfection and completeness. The letter in Hebrew is a picture of a sword with a crown on top, signifying a warring King, Jesus. Another interesting point is that Zayin derives its root from the word nourishment, and the word for bread is also contained in the word for war. We have these great and precious promises, that as we war from a place of rest, we will have our daily bread.

The word for this year that I am pressing into is that this is a year of the war, but not from a place of striving. We war from a place of rest and worship, in complete submission to God, under His divine grace. We war in the way God wants us to war--from the throne room of God. We are seated in heavenly places, and Jesus is our high priest and king, who has been given all authority in heaven and on earth, and who has sent us out under His authority to advance the Kingdom of God.

What change will you be making this year to learn how to war from the place of rest? Can you identify what you are to let go of and what you are to step into? I believe the Lord is calling us to be intentional about pressing into times of rest like the Sabbath. Only from a place of rest will we be able to see victory! What can you begin to do even this week to cultivate more opportunity for intentional worship and intimate time with God?

Scriptures for Meditation:

"Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest...take my yoke upon you...my yoke is easy and light.." Matthew 11:28

“So there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. Therefore let us be diligent to enter that rest...” Hebrews 4:9-11

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:4-7

“And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, ‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’” Matthew 28:18-20

I want to share with you the two levels of faith that are demonstrated throughout Scripture. Jesus loves every ounce of faith we have, and he responds to all levels of faith…even the smallest, most meager display of faith.

• Tenacious faith: The woman with the issue of blood battled the crowd and dared to touch the edge of Jesus’ garment – Jesus’ prayer cloth. The tassels on his prayer cloth represented pomegranates, which are symbolic of the promises of God. She was unclean and would not have been allowed to touch a rabbi under the Law. But she believed that as soon she touched the hem of His garment, she would be made clean. She was persistent and tenacious in battling through the opposition of the crowds as she grabbed hold of the promises of God.
• Persistent faith: Jesus told the parable of a persistent widow who persistently asked an unjust judge for a just ruling. Because of her constant pestering, the unjust judge finally ruled in her favor, just to be rid of her. The Lord said, “And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:7-8)

Words of hate tear at the fabric of our society; words of kindness mend.

Imagine.

Imagine life without unkind words. Imagine comments sections on your favorite website that only allow constructive criticism, words meant to further the conversation rather than out-shout those who disagree.

Today, online words of hate, abuse, fear, and violence are rampant. The intensity of negativity overwhelms us, a tsunami of words altering our lives without us realizing their enormous power. This new world often feels devoid of kindness. Few of us would choose to pass on this world to the next generations, so we begin this project in the hopes that we can change the future by changing the present.

We have power to create a better world.

Imagine.

Imagine a world that offers encouragement. Imagine a world where people matter. Too often, though, we feel helpless in even thinking about making a change. Where should we begin?

Well, we have some ideas... http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com/counseling/a-word-imagined/

We all know someone who is bitter, whether a coworker, a family member, a friend, or a spouse, you cannot deny the invisible stench of their bitterness. Often, you can hear it in their tone of voice, their responses and most often their direct communication.
People who hold onto bitterness can be oblivious that this root is deeply seeded in their hearts. If we were to approach them directly on their bitterness, the response can turn ugly fast. So often we are left not knowing how to respond.

Know this, the truth is at one point of their lives they have decided that they are sick of the hurt and pain that others caused them or maybe the injustice done in their life. They have unconsciously made the decision that they will no longer in their mind “allow anyone to take advantage of them anymore” So they hold on to the anger, thinking it’s their defense and their friend. This causes them to mull over conversations and wrong doings in their mind over and over again. The bitterness seeps in deeper and deeper and they weed grows sometimes so big that they can barely see through it anymore. It steals their joy, it steals their peace and it steals from them daily. And all they must do is give that over to Jesus, who is the one who can cut the root out.

In the meantime, until they give that up to Jesus… we all feel the stinky effects it leaves on us!
So how do we love and approach someone with bitterness?
First let’s define bitterness. the dictionary defines bitterness as “having a harsh disagreeably bitter taste, like that of aspirin, quinine, wormwood or aloe. Boy that is bitter! And let’s just think of when we have a bitter in our mouth, noting tastes or seems right after that.
In the same way, they have a hard time hearing god’s truths, or perceive information in healthy ways regarding themselves, others, and God, leaving it very difficult for their loved ones around them to be in a healthy communication.
The bible often talks about bitterness and to get rid of it fast! (Ephesians 4:31:32).

As a Clinical pastoral counselor, I have learned that behind bitterness, is usually a person who has a hard time believing that they are worth being loved themselves.
Somewhere along the line they came into agreement with the lies of not being good enough and/or that God does not love them enough. Unfortunately, the devil loves this type of self-talk because it doubts God’s goodness and loving truth!
True healing for them, is too have them come out of agreement with the lies and into the truth of Gods promises.
You can help them, and protect your own heart as well.

Here are some easy steps to remember when dealing with someone with bitterness,

• Choose to forgive that person. (Luke 23;24) If we look beyond the layers of bitterness you will truly find a person so hurt and often broken. Before the next phone call, day or meeting up with this person, try saying this “God I choose to forgive_________ I know only you can change their hearts, so therefore I choose to forgive_____________.
• DON’T Own It! Yes, bitter words can come out like arrows to our own heart. Don’t own it, it was never meant to be ours to wear in the first place. Remember …It is their stuff, not yours! When you start to sense the bitterness coming, you can choose to lovingly cut the conversation short or change the subject. 
• Pray for this person! My goodness, this person needs our prayers in the worst ways! Can you imagine living with bitterness? It steals their joy, it steals from them living in the moment and it steals from them hearing the truth from God. Pray, Pray and more prayer.
• Fight back with love, the bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. With every arrow shot to our own hearts, fight back with kindness and love. 
• Serve Them, consider doing something out of the ordinary, Jesus washed the feet of those who did not deserve it.. However, by washing their feet, he was showing them the loving kindness and authentic love that God has for them. It breaks down barriers! 
• Lastly, Respond and DO NOT REACT, bitterness is that ugly, it would love to take you down too! It would love for you to exemplify the same behaviors of mulling over the conversation repeatedly. NO! Don’t do it … it’s a trick from the enemy. Keep your joy! And Give it over to GOD 

Finally, you will be shocked if they do break away from bitterness that underneath that mess, is a loving, caring and sensitive spirit that can be a blessing in your life!

I hope this article helped you and please share if it can help someone else.