Christian Counselor Directory Blog

The Gender Dance: Communication 101
Relationships are can be complicated at times. No matter how much we love our partners, sometimes we may not see eye to eye with one another. Communication can become tense and we can feel distant from our partners. But all hope is not lost. We can learn strategies to strengthen our relationship and learn to draw near to one another. If you and your partner want to learn skills to improve your relationship – this is the right workshop for you both. We will talk about communication styles, impact of early family dynamics on the current relationship, and discuss strategies you and your partner can use to positively talk about areas you need to talk about without tension.


While we will be talking about topics that can be serious at times, we will also talk about how we can implement fun in relationships. We will talk about tips and tricks to healthy communication, use role plays, and hear from couples about what works and doesn’t work-providing each other with support. We hope you’ll join us for this event.

Registration can be done at https://www.vibrantwoman.me/upcoming-events/
We look forward to you joining us.

If you were recently diagnosed with depression, or you have been feeling unmotivated, down in the dumps, tired, restless, or sad, you might be wondering what are your options to receive help? Many people don’t know where to start in their healing journey and can feel very overwhelmed with what to choose or do. Getting help doesn’t have to be overwhelming!

First, start by finding a licensed counselor. Registered intern counselors or student counselors can be just as good of an option (and cheaper) because they are typically heavily supervised and lean on well-trained clinicians to help guide them through the therapeutic process. Seek a therapist who shares similar value systems. This is especially important if you are religious and want to incorporate your religious beliefs in your counseling. Discover a counselor you feel comfortable being around. If you are a rape victim, being around a person that reminds you of your perpetrator may not be in your best interest.

Ask your therapist if they will assess you for depression and if they will administer The Beck’s Depression Inventory. This inventory assesses your level of depression and allows the counselor to have a deeper understanding of what your depression looks like.

I cannot emphasize this enough; if you are dealing with depression, a consistent exercise routine must be a part of your daily life. The endorphins released by exercise help combat stress and gives your body a dopamine dump. Dopamine is your happy neurotransmitter.

Drink plenty of water and get adequate sleep. Dehydration can cause many problems including depression. Sleep also affects our ability to deal with stress. The more rested we feel, the higher the chances of fighting off depression.

Talk with your doctor and request a full blood panel to make sure a biological origin is not being overlooked. Being low in Vitamin D or B can cause depressive symptoms. Thyroid issues can also cause symptoms of depression. Having the MTHFR mutation can cause depression, anxiety, ADHD and many other problems. Depression can have a biological origin and requesting the proper bloodwork can help.

If an anti-depressant is recommended, then please consider following through with your doctor’s recommendations. These are not drugs that you can start and stop, or skip a day here or there. These are medications that have a great potential to help, but also a great potential to harm, if not taken properly. Think of an anti-depressant like insulin. In diabetes, your body does not produce enough insulin. Likewise, when a person is depressed, your body does not “produce enough” or activates the neurotransmitters properly in order to maintain a healthy balance in the brain. Antidepressants help activate your neurotransmitters to work at their fullest potential.

If being on an antidepressant does not feel like the right option for you, then please seek out a homeopathic doctor or a trained herbalist to help balance your body in a more natural way. There are plenty of herbal remedies available that can positively impact depression levels.

Figuring out how to deal with your depression can feel overwhelming but it doesn’t have to be. Find someone to talk with and get started on your healing journey.

Anxiety is one of the more frequent presenting problems that graces my office. However, is anxiety really bad? Before I answer that, ask yourself one question, what is the purpose of anxiety? (Que the Jeopardy theme music)!

Take a minute to reminisce back to high school or college testing days. The anxiety before the test was choking and all consuming. This anxiety typically pushes a person to study and prepare. In this instant, anxiety did its job. Anxiety’s job is to trigger us to prepare and to be alert. It must feel awful in order to make sure we are preparing adequately and being cautious in our environment. As long as you are still able to move forward in life and obtain your goals, then healthy amounts of anxiety can be a good thing. Breathe through this type of anxiety and exercise to maintain the stress this anxiety is producing. When the stressful event is finished, then thank your anxiety for doing its job and enjoy the benefits the small panic produced.

Now, if anxiety is shutting you down and preventing you from moving forward, there is a larger problem at hand. I will be daring enough to say that a person dealing with “stop all action and shut me down anxiety” isn’t dealing with anxiety, but with fear. Fear and anxiety can feel very similar. Also, not many people want to admit that they struggle with fear. It feels like our pride gets hit deeper when we admit our fears, so many people feel more comfortable with the word anxiety.

However, if you are one of these people who suffer from all-consuming anxiety and it prevents your from moving forward, I want you to ask yourself one question: what are you truly scared of? Change the word anxiety to fear and start facing what the actual fear is. You will find that just rewording your anxiety to fear will give you a different perspective on what is holding your back and now you can start creating courageous solutions to face your fears.

Anxiety does not have to dampen your life, especially if you differentiate whether the anxiety is good anxiety or whether it is fear. Identifying which type of anxiety you are grappling with can make the moment much easier to handle and also free you up to find active solutions.

How can you help your children feel hopeful about the future amid pandemic fears, divisive political hostility, and heart-hammering news reports? Romans 12:12 offers three habits that will help you maintain that hope: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Providing a good example of joy, patience, and faithfulness is the first hope-builder for your children because they take their cue from you.

Also, giving your children something to look forward to keeps them at peace in the moment and looking toward the future. Do this by instituting a weekly “Family-Fun,” time. Despite current restrictions and no matter how old or young your kids might be, try this brainstorm-blast every quarter. Get creative. It works like this:
A. Prior to your “blast,” download a list of fun things permitted, available in your area, in-budget, and post it on the fridge.
B. Meet, and encourage everyone to discuss their favorite things to do for your weekly “Family-Fun” time. Ideas will come from the list, and the children can come up with some on their own.
C. Write all suggestions on dry erase, poster, chart paper, or printer paper.
D. Now, give every child (or every family member…your choice) a different colored marker or let each choose a different method of selecting their favorites (underline, circle, box, squiggles).
E. Each person chooses as many “favorites” as s/he likes by circling (with his/her unique color) or by using his/her unique shape (circle, square, underline, box etc).
F. Together, you will review the completed brainstorm plot. Some activities will have zero or one circle and other activities will be circled by everyone.
G. The “fun things” that everyone likes will be evident because THEY will be circled by everyone – notice all of the colors or shapes surrounding them. These will be the first choices to put on the weekly “Family-Fun” time calendar. Work down from there, adding to the calendar for the whole quarter.

Making a game out of finding enjoyable things to do generates hope for tomorrow.
Patience amid chaos? Children struggle with patience just as you do. Sharing the truth with your children about what irritates you, and offering them a safe space to talk about their fears and frustrations builds patience and trust. You might share with them some relaxation techniques, and practice together. Practicing these techniques ensures that you and your children will be able to relax when you find yourself in a situation where you NEED to relax.

Finally, knowing that God has you in His arms gives you hope that your future is safeguarded. Remain faithful by creating a faith fortress. Pray with your children in the morning, building a foundation to their fortress. Draw near to God in the afternoon, establishing the walls; recall three blessings each evening to top off that fortress.

You can help your children and yourself to feel hopeful about the future through Romans 12:12. Start a habit of joy in hope, patience in affliction, and faithfulness in prayer. It’s a good habit that will not only draw you and your children near to God but also keep all of you hopeful and at peace in troubled times and any time.

Our world paints a picture of love as an explosive, emotional tilt-a-whirl that delights our senses, lifting us to endless heights where we experience unimaginable bliss forever, or drops us to the ground to begin again. This lure, dangled in front of millions of teens, single young adults, and even disillusioned spouses escalates in power at this time of year as eyes, ears, noses, and taste buds turn toward hearts – chocolate hearts, gummy hearts, processed-sugar hearts, and even dancing/singing hearts.

With our senses drowning in sugary pleasure, it is difficult to see the Truth. I’m not talking about the facts about dark chocolate hearts; that they increase serotonin in the brain and gut, thus increasing happiness and strengthening the immune system. Although, that IS a blessing.

The Truth -- direct from God's Word -- talks of love more than five-hundred times. The Bible talks about loving God, loving our spouses, loving our neighbors, loving ourselves, and loving strangers. The Word says that God is love, that Jesus is love. It says that love is respect, and obedience, that love is patience and kindness; love is sacrifice; love is unconditional, uplifting and empowering. Love is enduring, unfailing, and everlasting. We could take a lifetime to fully appreciate love according the Truth of the Bible.

Why not place these God-given truths, these facts about love into our metaphoric love “quiver” to use as relationship ammunition, instead of filling that quiver with anger arrows, bitterness arrows, and nit-pick arrows? We can fill our hearts with an ever-expanding love, an ever-increasing knowledge of love. Let’s take a lifetime to fully appreciate the person we’ve chosen to love forever. The only way to do that is to step outside of our own wants and needs and appreciate the different facets of love, why we love this person, who God made this person to be, what loving this person looks like to God, where God wants us to go with this love.

Face it; all relationships have pinnacles and pits. Instead of giving up when we stumble into a valley, we can draw from one of the five-hundred-PLUS types of LOVE we choose to place in our quiver. Apply that love without waiting for a “return” on our investment. Each new love arrow will redefine, reshape our relationship, and teach us new ways to grow together in Christ.

This is the perfect time to LOVE your spouse, your significant other, your neighbor – not with fancy, expensive gifts. Dig in and learn how to really love in Spirit and Truth. Get out of yourself and into your partner’s skin. You CAN do it.

If you’d like more information on HOW love like this, email me at terri@joshua1nine.com with YES in the subject, and I’ll send you a FREE sample of my, Seven-Day Relationship Blast. It is a guide for couples that will be released for purchase on February 14. You can check out this month’s newsletter by clicking the link below.

Until then, do not give up. Love the Lord; love each other, and “trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever” (Psalm 52:8).

Religious trauma isn’t a formal diagnosis. Instead, it’s a broad and informal term that can refer to both traumas from a religious institution and trauma within the faith community itself.

Such symptoms can include:

-Negative beliefs about self-esteem and self-worth
-Pervasive depression and anxiety
-Loneliness
-Loss of meaning or pleasure in most activities
-Struggles with a social support system and strained family dynamics
-Feeling ‘behind’ on developmental tasks
-A pervasive sense of social awkwardness
-Feeling a lost or missing sense of purpose

Undoubtedly, religion can be a sensitive subject. You may feel ashamed to talk about how you feel. You may blame yourself for not doing something right. Know that these are normal reactions. However, these reactions can lead to unnecessary and extreme suffering- which only perpetuates a cycle of fear, shame, and disappointment.

As therapists, Willow Counseling feels honored to sit and explore the subject of religious trauma with you. Whether you’ve been struggling recently or for many years, we can work together to restore your faith in humanity and hope in life.