Christian Counselor Directory Blog

I chanced upon a verse I first memorized for Confirmation classes years ago.  Interestingly with hermeneutics, I suddenly questioned what ‘restores’ meant in the 23rd Psalm.  Checking several reverences I found different interpretations, but ultimately my conclusion is that God leads our hearts toward peace as we begin to focus on Him.   Focusing on Him refreshes our souls and leads us back to where we were before sin.  As David wrote this Psalm, he must have been thinking about how  his heart for God took a wrong turn and now he was feeling anxious.  David needed to restore his peace of mind and using his own power failed him.  So, he went to God for supernatural healing.

The Lord is my Shepherd…He restores my soul.  Jesus guides His sheep on a safe path back to His will.  The Holy Spirit not only gives us peace about the current sin we are facing, but also many other sins that we have not noticed or just denied.  In counseling, it is wise to use the Bible as a guide to refresh our souls.

Click to view the profile of  Dr.Craig A. Brewick, Christian Hope Counseling

Where do you find your basic needs of Acceptance, Significance and Security?  While we live as aliens here on earth, waiting for our permanent home in heaven, these are useful questions we may ask ourselves.  When we are young and living with our parents, we find these needs met by them.  We hope we have some expose us to the son of Jesus who was the lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world.  If this isn’t the case, we have to catch up to learn about our Savior and Redeemer.  Then as we mature, our lives move more outside our home and into the community and we find those basic needs met by friends or groups.  Eventually we are out on our own or married and may find those needs met through things of this world or our spouse.  It seems to be a fine balance.

If I were to ask you to do a timeline of your life say from 0 to 5, 6-10, 11-15, and so on, how would you answer these questions?  Where did you find your Acceptance, your Significant and your Security at each of these age periods?  Was there a time you learned to depend on Christ for any part of your Acceptance, Significance or Security?  I would suggest that the more you are able to find ways to depend on God to fulfill those basic human needs, the more satisfied  and centered you will be here on earth.  I challenge you to fill out that timeline and see where your life has been.  Perhaps now would be a perfect time to look at one of those three areas to see how Jesus could give you what you need.  Blessings!

Click to see the profile of Deborah Perrin

 “Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’?” Luke 5:23

Sometimes, my patients come for psychotherapy wanting an instant solution to their problems. They would like me to say something miraculous that will allow them to psychologically “get up and walk” instantaneously. The truth is, when we have been wounded at our deepest level, we are in need of a process that requires our active participation. We need to do the work of identifying the brokenness in our hearts and relationships and following through with the process of forgiveness. This is usually not easy, and rarely instantaneous. But,in the long run the type of healing that comes through the process of forgiveness and making peace with the past is the most profound pathway to spiritual and psychological wholeness.

People were interested in instant solutions at the time of Jesus as well. They wanted miracles rather than hard work. But Jesus wasn’t interested in simply helping people feel better—he wanted them to get better. To him, that meant dealing with the wounds in our hearts and relationships that required the hard work of forgiveness and reconciliation. He knew that sometimes it was actually easier to tell someone physically debilitated to “get up and walk” than it was to say, “Your sins are forgiven.” Physically healing the body was easy compared to the repentance and forgiveness that was needed in human hearts.

Spiritual Principle: Excusing people is easier than forgiving them—but not better.

Click to visit the Profile of   La Vie Christian Counseling Center.

Being Under-Assertive

It is a difficult situation when we feel we are being wronged, especially by a family member or close friend, not to have our feelings taken into account. This may make us feel we are being taken advantage of by someone we trust. This is often a difficult situation because we feel trapped, not wanting to have a confrontation, but hoping they will soon see the pain and discomfort caused by their actions.

But, in many cases that awakening never happens, and we continue feeling used and frustrated when the situation does not change. This,  in turn, can lead us to emotionally disconnect from the individual and withdraw from the relationship. Bitterness can also start to take hold of us.

This is an example of under-assertiveness. Instead of confronting someone about not providing something expected of them, or taking an action that wronged us, we instead elect to turn the “other cheek” or just “keep our mouth shut” once again, hoping the person sees the errors of their ways and changes.

Many people believe being under-assertive is a proper way of behaving. To them, acting in an assertive manner is an act of anger and moves us away from treating people in a Christ-like fashion. However that is not proven to be a Biblical truth.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves,and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is Christ. Ephesians 4:14-15

Being Assertive

Assertiveness is an important concept for each of us to practice in order to know where we stand with one another. But, this is only accomplished by being assertive with a Christ-like heart and speaking the truth in love. If our motive in confronting is to prove we are right, or tear someone down, then we are acting inappropriately. This approach is as unhealthy for us as internalizing our feelings and electing not to confront them.

The real solution requires we stop internalizing feelings of offence and burying our heads in the sand, hoping the individual will suddenly move toward us and stop their negative behavior. Instead, we need to find the courage to do the right thing and open our hearts by sharing our disappointment and hurts with those we believe have done us a disservice.

This requires us to:

1. Be vulnerable and willing to share our heartfelt disappointment and hurt with the individual
2. Focus on letting the other person know our pain instead of pointing out their shortcomings
3. Establish boundaries with those individuals who refuse to accept responsibility and continue with their destructive behavior

Although confrontations are never pleasant they can be handled in a manner that is appropriate with the teachings of Christ – where we treat people with honor and respect even at times when they don’t seem to deserve it. Finally, Christ-like confrontations also can start the process of removing unnecessary frustrations and negative energies from our lives, while enriching our relationships with stronger emotional connections.

Click here to view the profile of Eddie Capparucci

This type of Therapy is based on the belief that as our Lord we are made up of three parts. The Body, Soul (Mind) and Spirit When we accept Christ we have His spirit in us. So our spirit cannot be attacked or assailed by evil or hurt as that is where Christ dwells through the Power of the Holy Spirit. Our Soul is another part of us separate from the spirit. It is in our soul (mind) where our hurts exist sometimes in memories that need healing. The pain in our soul contributes towards depression and anxiety. The pain in our soul affects us physically as well. Our bodies are affected by the pain of memories we carry in our soul. Science has now t it interesting that science is now learning this and there are secular therapies which now exist to deal with this type of physical reaction? Psychologists now believe (and studies are being done) that spirituality in an important part of therapy.

This therapy is “Christ Centered” There are different terms for the type of prayer therapy I am offering. Soul Healing, Inner Healing, Healing of the Memories There are many books that have been written on this topic. None of this comes from my own imagination but teaching I have received over many years. I have incorporated techniques I learned under the direction Dennis Bennett for the “Healing of the Memories” with what I have been taught about, deep relaxation as a therapist. I have also incorporated what I have learned about Christian meditation from many years of being involved in an intercessory prayer group. I prayed with the same group of people for over twenty years and attended other Christian prayer groups which added to my experience. If we can understand the concept that we are a triune person it is easier to understand how a Christian can be depressed or anxious or need healing of past memories which are difficult to let go and give to God. The principle of this approach to therapy is God Centered. Jesus Christ is with us, and we are empowered to be healed by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Reference: Trinity of Man by Dennis and Rita Bennett; Copyright 1979 by Logos International

Click to view the profile of Rosaleen Runnalls

The Neurology of Depression

God has seen fit to bless us in our current day-and-age with amazing technological advances that allow us to peer into the human body like never before. Computed Axial Tomography (CAT) scans use a series of x-rays taken from different directions; while Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) uses magnetic fields and radio waves; and Positron Emission Tomography (PET) measures emissions from radioactively labeled, metabolically active chemicals injected into the blood stream. With these technological advances, scientists and medical doctors are learning more-and-more about the neurology of clinical depression.

Depression Changes the Brain

Today, through the innovations of science, God is showing us that a state of depression may involve the decrease of brain neuron size and density. Neurons are specialized cells that transmit nerve impulses. The human brain is estimated to consist of some 85 billion neurons. But recent research seems to suggest that it is not only neurons that may decrease in size and density during depression, the number of glial support cells (the connective tissue of the nervous system) may reduce as well. This loss of brain tissue results in larger ventricles i.e., “cavities” in the brain, and is believed to effect emotion, memory, and learning during a clinical state of depression.

Redemption

Regardless of what science might reveal about the neurological implications of depression, as Christians, we serve a God who is all about redemption. To redeem is to compensate for the faults or bad aspects of someone/something; to gain or regain possession of someone/something in exchange for payment. Believers who have suffered through the course of depression and experience healing will often tell you that it came more so in the form of transformation than recovery. To recover is to return to a normal state of health, but to transform is to make a thorough, and what is often a dramatic change. Those who are in Christ Jesus are promised that God works good in all things (see Romans 8:28), even during seasons of depression. Our Lord tells us that His “yoke is easy” and His “burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30). The great biblical commentator, Matthew Henry, wrote the following about this verse: “It is a yoke that is lined with love. So powerful are the assistances he gives us, so suitable the encouragements, and so strong the consolations to be found in the way of duty, that we may truly say, it is a yoke of pleasantness.” A state of depression is, perhaps, one of the greatest challenges to a Christian’s faith; a challenge that brings the opportunity for our faith to be strengthened. And whom among us could not benefit from stronger, deeper faith in our Lord and Savior?

Click to view the profile of Kingdom Community Ministries.

There are two reasons Christian should seek Psychotherapy. The first reason is important: to improve your overall life quality. A couple of researchers found one's attachment to God predicts their general sense of well-being (Limke & Mayfield, 2011). In turn, one's attachment to God is predicted by his or her attachment to his/her father. In other words, Christians whose relationship with their father is poor is also likely to have a poor attachment to God, which translates into having a poorer sense of well-being.

The second reason is no less important: therapy is helpful to treat the consequences of past trauma. Indeed, while people who have been abused mightotherwise lead a meaningful life, there are still areas in their lives that are suffering. For instance, survivors of childhood sexual abuse tend to desire partners who are themselves attracted to violence and abuse (Zurbriggen et al., 2012). These survivors will continue to pair up with partners that are unhealthy for them, even if others (including preachers and sermons) are telling them not to do it. In fact, they are likely to struggle in all sorts of relationships, because trauma impairs our view of attachment. Unresolved attachment issues will affect current relationships.

References:

Limke, A., & Mayfield, P. (2011). Attachment to God: Differentiating the contributions of fathers and mothers using the experiences in parental relationships scale. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 39, 122-129.

Zurbriggen, E. L., Gobin, M. S., & Kaehler, L. A. (2012). Trauma, attachment, and intimate relationships. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 13, 127-133.

Click to view the profile of Audrey Davidheiser.

Recent brain research describes the "negativity bias" of the brain.  Growing from the early human need to be protective of predators, this bias describes a singular brain reality: as humans we learn bad lessons from bad experiences in a stronger way than from good lessons from good experiences.  In short, from an evolutionary viewpoint, our brain is much more inclined toward the negative rather the positive way of learning from the experiences of life.

This reality raises critical questions for Christian therapists.  How do we address this reality with clients and ourselves?  What interventions do we use to help clients overcome their brains' inclination to hold onto the negative view of life? What is the role of the Spirit in our efforts?  How do we open ourselves to the Spirit in our work? One response to these questions is given by Rick Hanson in the HEAL approach:

H---have a positive experience

E---Enrich it

A---Absorb it

L---Link the positive experience to negative material in the client's life. 

Click here for Gary Philips Profile