American Association for Marriage and Family Therapist Marriage Preparation Program: A Marriage Maintenance Perspective
The “out of the box” program I have chosen to highlight, and review is one commonly used by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapist (AAMFT). The text for this brochure was written by Jeffry H. Larson, Ph.D. I have integrated the key concepts of the conceived program into this week’s discussion reading and video presentations.
Program Content and Staff Commitment
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) has developed a program entitled Marriage Preparation. According to Larson (n.d.). “Social scientists and clinicians have found two dozen or so specific factors that predict future marital satisfaction. These factors can be viewed as forming a triangle-a model known as the marriage triangle” (para. 3). The three factors in the triangle are constructed around three key factors: (a) individual traits, (b) couple traits and (c) personal and relational contexts. It is imperative for the counseling staff involved in the premarital counseling process to have a clear framework, goals and objectives to increase the likelihood of the premarital counseling success. According to Clinton and Trent (2009), premarital counseling is highly recommended so that the prospective husband and wife can gain clarity regarding their “expectations, habits, flaws, beliefs, and values” (p. 236) and to purposefully identify marital assumptions and perceptions held by the couple with a view to minimizing future potential conflict.
Delivery Format
Individual traits include the individuals’ personalities associated with any consideration for marriage as well as an examination of the state of their emotional health. For example, a couple’s level of flexibility and adaptability to various life situations and circumstances should be assessed by the practitioner. In addition, the therapist should endeavor to determine the positive factors such as integrity and self-esteem discerned during the assessment process. Negative factors such as impulsive behaviors or irrational decision making should be identified during the skill development phase of the program. It is also important to establish couples’ worldviews on marriage. What are their core beliefs and values on marriage? Are there possible deep-rooted issues and elevated levels of dysfunction stemming from their family origin? As such, some review of the couple’s interpersonal communication skills is also highly recommend (Clinton & Trent, 2009; Larson, n.d.).
Second, couple traits include the ability of the couple to engage in meaningful and effective couple communication. Effective communication is an integral component of building a team-oriented perspective of marriage. It also serves as a vehicle towards building oneness in the marriage relationship and more effective conflict resolution skills (Larson, n.d). Another critical component of the couple traits is determining how long and how well the couples know each other. According to Clinton and Trent (2009), during the assessment interview some of the suggested questions related to the degree of acquaintance should include: “How did you meet? What do you love about each other?” (p. 237).
Third, personal and relationship contexts include family background characteristics. It is important to establish from both parties if they were previous marriages or any existing children or specific plans about having children. Clinton and Trent (2009) suggest that interview questions on specifics plans in relations to children, parenting styles theological histories, finances and money management, friendship and boundary demarcations, extended familial relationships and the quality of an individual's parents' marriage should all be discussed (Clinton & Trent, 2009; Larson, n.d).
Participants’ Commitment
Participants’ commitment can be compartmentalized into two phases. First, it is important to delineate and understand the premarital factors discussed above. The second phase is based on seeking to assess the three factors outlined above in oneself as well as in the relationship with one’s future spouse. This can be accomplished most effectively by having couples complete a comprehensive Premarital Assessment Questionnaire (PAQ). Best outcomes are obtained when couples are encouraged to gain a meaningful interpretation of the questionnaire’s results with their partner (Larson, n.d).
Strengths and Weaknesses
Three high-quality Premarital Assessment Questionnaires (PAQs) provide couples with useful feedback on their strengths and weaknesses. The three areas of focus are: (a) Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study (FOCCUS), (b) Relationship Evaluation (RELATE) and (c) Premarital Preparation and Relationship Enhancement (PREPARE). It takes approximately one hour to complete the PAQs. Upon completion, the couple receives a detailed written report “about individual traits, couple traits, and contexts of your relationship” (Larson, n.d., para. 7) The strengths and weaknesses in the defined categories outlined above are highlighted.
RELATE can be completed online and provides a self-interpretive report, enabling you to analyze and interpret the results. FOCCUS and PREPARE are used with the assistance of a premarital counselor or clergy person trained in using these instruments. The cost of taking these PAQs is relatively inexpensive ($10 - $30 per couple). All contain questions for people considering remarriage, as well. The accuracy of the results depends on the honesty and insight of the partners when they answered the questions. (Larson, n.d., para. 7)
The fundamental goal of the PAQs is to heighten awareness and discussion between couples. It also serves to: (a) discover the individual strengths and weaknesses of the couple and (b) evaluate their readiness for marriage. Ideally, these goals should be met prior to marriage. The PAQs aim to encourage awareness and couple discussion of strengths and weaknesses and readiness for marriage. The results from the PAQs are used to cultivate discussions between partners to more systematically work on developing individual strengths and overcoming weaknesses. This is important to do because of weaknesses that exist before marriage. which remain unattended, usually develop into bigger problems following marriage. In addition, since couples during the premarital stage of their relationship tend to be more emotionally engaged and committed to their relationship, it is arguably the optimum time to have, what could be at times, potentially sensitive discussions (Larson, n.d.).
Program Application
There are three important keys necessary to move from the application of the Personal Assessment Questionnaire (PAQ) to personal and couple improvement: (a) Identifying the specific areas of concern found in the PAQ results and celebrating the strengths perhaps like healthy personal and family backgrounds, (b) deciding what are the primary contributors to problems in the relationship. For example, poor listening skills, ambivalence to marriage or feeling a sense of familial and partner pressure to get married and (c) identifying the relevant resources needed to help improve any weaknesses discovered during the assessment process. Some possible resources may include “reading self-help books, listening to audio or video tapes, attending a communication skills training group, or premarital counseling” (Larson, n.d., para. 8).
Likelihood of Success
Relationship success in marriage is contingent on a plethora of critical factors. Vernick (2013) sheds light on some of the essentials that she posits are necessary for a thriving marital relationship namely: mutuality (mutual partner contributions to relationship care and maintenance); reciprocity (shared power and responsibilities in the relationship) and freedom (being allowed to be authentic in your marriage relationship). Arguably such couple traits increase the likelihood of marital success. Likewise, Weeks and Hoff (2005) advance a triangular model, not dissimilar to that proposed by the AAMFT, which incorporates three components namely: commitment, intimacy and passion. Commitment is a cold cognitive component, intimacy is the warm and emotional component and passion is the hot “forming the motivational leg of the triangle” (Weeks & Hoff, 2005, p. 24). According to Larson (n.d):
A PAQ may also be helpful in discovering that further assessment or counseling is needed. For example, if an individual's PAQ results show that she or he is depressed, anxious, or has low self-esteem, a more thorough mental health assessment may be recommended, possibly including therapy. The person's improvement in mood and self-esteem will naturally increase the chances of being happily married. (para. 9)
In summary, the AAMFT’s Preparation Program incorporates several salient features geared towards developing the skills training necessary for positive outcomes in marriage preparation. In this discussion, I have sought to highlight some of its key elements including: the program content and staff commitment required, its format for effective delivery, the level of participant commitment needed, the programs key strengths and weaknesses, its application style and the key elements that could determine its likelihood of success.
References
Clinton, T., & Trent, J. (2009). The quick-reference guide to marriage & family counseling. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.
Larson, J. H. (n.d.). Marriage preparation. Retrieved from https://www.aamft.org/iMIS15/AAMFT/Content/consumer_updates/marriage_preparation.aspx
Vernick, L. (2013). The emotionally destructive marriage: How to find your voice & reclaim your hope. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook.
Weeks, G. R., & Hof, L. (2005). Integrative solutions: Treating common problems in couples’ therapy. New York, NY: Brunner & Mazel.
