A marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and in healthy marriages, it is. Healthy couples understand that a marriage has its ups and downs, but they always work together to try and resolve their problems.
It can be a very lonely experience to be the only partner who is willing to work on your marriage. Perhaps this is the situation you have found yourself in, and you’re not sure what to do about it. If so, I would like to help you.
As a Christian Marriage Coach and Counselor, I have helped many couples who were facing similar circumstances in their marriages. Perhaps some of these scenarios fit your marriage.
YOUR SPOUSE REFUSES TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON GOOD INTENTIONS
When your spouse doesn’t follow through on good intentions, it can be very frustrating. Perhaps you’ve recently had a conversation about the importance of saving money for a down payment on a house, but he or she keeps spending money frivolously. Or, perhaps you have talked about a need to make some changes in the way you approach disciplining your kids. Your spouse has promised to stand firm with you on your decisions, but he or she keeps on going against you. These are very real problems, and they can hurt your marriage in more ways than one.
YOUR SPOUSE CONSTANTLY CHANGES PLANS OR BREAKS PROMISES
Has it been a long time since your spouse has kept a promise? Broken promises are common in troubled marriages, and again, this can take many forms. Maybe your spouse keeps putting off your anniversary dinner celebration because of problems at work. Or, perhaps spending time with his or her friends constantly takes priority over spending time with you and your family. While you can’t expect that your spouse will never break a promise to you, when it becomes a pattern, it’s a real problem that needs to be addressed and resolved.
YOUR SPOUSE REFUSES COUNSELING
When you suggest counseling to your spouse, what is his or her response? It’s common for many married couples to have one partner who resists counseling. That spouse probably feels like there really aren’t any major problems in the marriage, and they don’t see a need to make any changes. If you have mentioned counseling to your spouse and you’ve been met with resistance, it’s perfectly fine for you to seek out counseling on your own. In fact, as a Christian Marriage Coach, I have worked with many individuals who had a strong desire to work on their marriages, but without the support of their spouses. It’s beneficial, even if it’s only you who talks with a counselor.
Carol Erb
