All women absorb messages during their lifetimes, and these messages have a profound influence on a woman’s voice. Women—especially women of faith—receive numerous messages about how they are supposed to behave and these messages influence a woman’s voice.
Sometimes we give specific messages more value than others, such as…be gentle, be kind, be patient, be loving, be innocent.These are powerful and truthful messages. As women of faith, we should treasure the pursuit of these qualities in our character.
On the contrary, as women, how many times have we been given these messages:
Be hyper-vigilant, guarded, calculating, astute. Be marked by a practical and hard-headed intelligence. BE SHREWD! Do place as much value on developing these characteristics as we do on being innocent, kind and patient?
Think about the definition of the word “shrewd.” It means to show sharp powers of judgment, to be astute, sharp-witted, intelligent, clever, canny, sagacious, perceptive and savvy.Being shrewd is a great quality to have.
Let’s pause for a moment and really reflect on the message given to us from the Book of Matthew:
“Be shrewd as a serpent, yet innocent as a dove.” Matthew 10:16.
Do you hear it? This powerful instruction puts as much emphasis on being shrewd as it does on being innocent. In fact, it suggests we should put equal weight on both qualities when we make decisions. We should not be more innocent than we are shrewd; we should pursue a fifty-fifty balance.
In my blog post “Create a Meaningful Ruckus,” I wrote about the tendency of the feminine soul to associate the feeling of tension caused by rocking the boat with having done something wrong. This tendency may be rooted in the fact that women have often absorbed more messages about being loving, kind, and innocent and fewer about being calculating, savvy, and shrewd.
I would estimate that within our church walls, 90% of messages created for women emphasize patience, love, and kindness, and fewer than 10% of messages emphasize the importance of being shrewd. Yet, according to the book of Matthew, these character attributes should have equal weight.
Quite frequently I observe women in my counseling office feeling guilty when their circumstances require them to act shrewdly. They have not yet created a mindset that being shrewd is as honorable, valuable, and imperative as being innocent.
Why must we equally weigh being shrewd with being kind in all of our decisions and interactions? Because shrewdness prevents us from confusing being kind, loving and gentle with having a high tolerance for crap. There is simply no other way of saying that, my friends.
In order to find your voice and create more balance in your decision-making process, be both innocent and shrewd.
I hope these insights encourage you to find your Voice!
Questions to Ask Yourself
- Do you give yourself permission to be shrewd and calculating? Or do you put more emphasis on developing a character based on being innocent and kind?
- Do you find that overemphasizing being innocent and underestimating the value of being shrewd leads you into relationships or circumstances that create having a high tolerance for crap?
- Is there a decision you are currently making where you need to practice being shrewder and less innocent in order to bring balance to your thought process?
- How does meditating on Matthew 10:16 reduce the false guilt you may have about being more calculating, shrewd, and hyper-vigilant?
- Have you been given the message that you need to be shrewd, lately? If so, did you resist or absorb that message?
