Have you ever asked yourself, how are my boundaries? Better yet, what are boundaries? The Merrian-Webster Dictionary defines Boundaries as, “something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.”
Synonyms for the word boundary found in the Merriam- Webster Dictionary include; line, limitation, confines, and end. Too much of a boundary, can leave us isolated and disconnected from authentic feelings and other people in our lives. Often individuals who have experienced repeated hurts in life; emotionally, physically, and or sexually, feel safer using walls as a defense to protect them selves. The cost of living life in an impenetrable wall destroys authentic communication and honesty with self and other’s. It steals the potential for relational intimacy.
Do you ever have a difficult time saying “No” in your life? Are you so busy taking care of everything and everyone that you have no time for yourself? Does your mind race with all the to-do’s or the details of a stressful situation. These thoughts steal your attention and focus. Not having a boundary system to protect or help contain you will rob you of being present at work, at home, and with your family. It may create a decreased sense of self, leaving you at the mercy of everyone else.
Boundaries are an important part of our lives. Boundaries serve to protect us physically, sexually and emotionally. Having healthy intact boundaries gives us the gift of knowing who we are; what I need, who I am, and what I believe. Intact boundaries allow us to be both open and vulnerable, in addition to protection and containment. According to Pia Melody, author of Facing Codependency, “Protection keeps us from being a victim, which is an act of self-esteem. Containment keeps us from being offensive to others we are interacting with.” The practice of healthy boundaries strengthens ones self-esteem, teaches one how to communicate without being offensive and it separates one’s thinking and feeling from another’s.
Discovery and Wellness PLLC
Heidi Brouelette
