One can only imagine the excitement of finding the perfect home for our growing family. We had spent several years living in a small apartment after marriage and started growing the family shortly thereafter. We marveled at the space we would have and all the wonderful ideas we shared would finally come to life. We could see ourselves enjoying the spacious outdoors that was perfectly manicured and enclosed by a cedar fence. We knew that our children would be safe while in their daily adventures exploring the world.
In the years following we had not expected the unforeseen challenges and brokenness we had encountered as husband and wife. The boundaries or fences, that had not been erected in the marriage did not provide safety for either of us or to offset the events that came in our daily interactions with others. We knew as a couple we had done much to ensure a successful healthy family. We had provided the family with good care, guidelines, instructions and much love. As a family we appeared to have it all until one summer we found ourselves in conflict and looking outside each other for someone to hear our hurts. I had never thought that there were going to be those nights where talking was limited and feelings were left unspoken and loneliness took root. We both had our ways to escape into a nothing world so we didn't have to face our feelings. I chose Facebook and he chose longer hours at work. Looking back now, we had missed the most important part that now seemed to endanger all we had worked for. As time went on I found a listening ear to hear my troubles and it worsened over time. Upon my husband's discovery of inappropriate discussions, I had to face what had happened to us, We had never discussed how we would handle conflicts or what boundaries needed to be in place to safeguard our marriage from the outside world.
We learned with great difficulty the importance of setting boundaries to ensure what we expected would achieve a healthy loving, trusting relationship. so we could both grow. By safeguarding the marriage from outside influences thus preventing hurtful choices and broken trust.
Fully communicating the expectations in a relationship and how to handle certain situations will help to formulate boundaries to safeguard the heart, the relationship and the future of two. Two imperfect people that will make imperfect choices that can result in imperfect pain for each of them.
