Saving your Marriage before it Starts: Robert Sternberg's Triangular Model of Love
The triangular model of love, as explained by Sternberg, invokes considerable thought and reflection. According to Parrott and Parrott (2006) “Consummate love results from the full combination of love’s three components: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Consummate love is the goal toward which every marriage strives” (p. 43). In other words, the model can be perceived as having fundamental building blocks, ingredients, or constituents, if found to be lacking, resulting in instability.
The Apostle Paul, in his epistle to the church at Corinth, took great pains to emphasize the need to exercise love in the execution of the ministry gifts. Paul notes, “And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing” (Scofield, p. 1526). Given the foregoing insights, how might one best frame love? From a purely definitive perspective, the Oxford reference dictionary gives one some additional building blocks. Consummate love is defined as, “A type of love characterized by erotic passion, commitment, and intimacy. See under love. [From Latin consummate, consummatum to perfect, from con with + summus the highest, from summa a sum]” (Oxford University Press, 2013).
The consummate nature of love is further supported by Worthington’s (2005) thesis on what constitutes a hope-focused approach to marriage. The author asserts,
Changes in the field of couple’s therapy suggest that more attention is being paid to the emotional climate of troubled couples. In keeping with this trend, feedback on practitioners’ use of hope-focused marriage counseling suggests that most have found my emphasis of love and forgiveness to be most helpful (xxxi).
Evidently, triangular can be extrapolated to diverse situations such as discipleship ministry and marital therapy. Needless to say, Sternberg’s model can by no means be considered flawless, but certainly gives some meaningful insight from which to construct an approach to consummate love.
The Gospel Model to a healthy, vibrant love that will stand the test of time and trials
Jesus in his teaching s to His disciples also emphasized the foundational nature of love in the Christian Walk. He commanded us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44, Luke 6:27). In John 15:12, Jesus uses the metaphor of the vine and the branches to vividly illustrated the interdependence of love to humanity,
This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I loved you” Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends, Ye are my friends, if ye do whatever I command you (p. 1412-1413).
In summary, based on these referenced biblical truths, it becomes abundantly evident why both Jesus and Sternberg provide perspectives that fuse secular and Christian worldviews on consummate love.
References
Oxford reference (2013). Retrieved March 28, 2013, from http://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095634413.
Parrott, L. & Parrott, L. (2006). Saving your marriage before it starts. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
Scofield, G. I. (1917). The Scofield reference bible. New York: Oxford University Press.
