The Struggles Of Military Marriage: Maintaining Your Trust
The beginning of your marriage is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. You most likely enjoyed a beautiful wedding, possibly even a wonderful honeymoon. However, as a military couple, it’s possible that the reality of your marriage set in much sooner than other couples, and before long, the “honeymoon phase” was over.
While you knew you would have different struggles as a military couple, it can feel all-encompassing at times. There are long days spent apart while your spouse is in training. During deployments, you sometimes have to spend months apart from each other, which is difficult for both of you. It’s understandable that many military couples – even Christian military couples – struggle with issues of trust. Perhaps you’ve been dealing with trust issues in your marriage too. If so, there are a few things you can do that might help.
INVEST IN YOUR MARRIAGE
When you’re not together as much as you would like to be, it can be easy for the two of you to pay less attention to your marriage until you’re together again. This can cause resentment, and it also increases the probability of being susceptible to giving into temptation. Talk with your spouse and find out what you can do to help him or her feel more secure in the marriage. It might be writing letters frequently, or sending a daily email. It might be weekly telephone calls or video chats. When you invest in your marriage, you’re showing your spouse that even though this is a difficult season when you have to be apart, your marriage and your spouse are still very important to you.
PRAY AND READ A DEVOTIONAL TOGETHER
While you probably don’t get much time to talk to your spouse during deployments, use the time you do have to talk wisely. God brought you together, and when He did, He blessed your marriage. Praying and reading a Christian devotional together, even over the phone, will help you stay connected to each other. You will also be putting God in the center of your marriage, which will make your relationship even stronger. We recommend Night Light by James & Shirley Dobson or Moments Together for Couples by Dennis & Barbara Rainey
TALK WITH A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE COACH AND COUNSELOR
You may have hesitated to talk with a Christian Marriage Coach and Counselor in the past because you weren’t sure if a counselor could help you in your unique situation. However, here at the Beaufort Center for Marriage, we’re accustomed to helping married military couples, and we provide honest, Biblically-sound counseling and coaching. Sometimes it helps to talk with an unbiased third party who can help you restore any lost trust, and renew the love and passion that you once had for your marriage. You’ll grow closer as a couple, and your level of intimacy within your marriage will only get stronger.
As a Christian Marriage Coach and Counselor who enjoys working with military couples, I pray that you will find strength in reaching out to a professional for the help you need for your marriage. Along with God’s help and God’s love, I would love to partner together with you to help make your marriage the absolute best it can be. I love helping couples rediscover their love for each other as a Christian Marriage Counselor here in Beaufort, SC.
Once you make the decision to restore the trust in your marriage, you’ll find that you’re able to navigate the difficult times more easily – even as a military couple.
Dr. Carol Erb
