Motherhood is often romanticized as a joyous and fulfilling experience. However, behind the smiles and adorable baby photos, there is a hidden reality that many mothers face – a dysregulated nervous system. While it may not be immediately visible, the signs of a dysregulated nervous system can manifest in various ways.
In this blog, we will unmask the invisible struggle that mothers with a dysregulated nervous system often face. From chronic fatigue and irritability to difficulty in concentrating and anxiety, the effects of a dysregulated nervous system can be debilitating. These symptoms can not only affect a mother's well-being but can also impact her ability to care for her child.
Understanding the signs and symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system is essential for both mothers and those who support them. By recognizing these telltale signs, mothers can seek appropriate help and support to regain balance and improve their overall well-being.
The impact of dysregulation on mothers
1. Emotional Volatility
Dysregulation turns your emotions into a wild carnival. One minute, you’re laughing at a toddler’s knock-knock joke; the next, you’re crying over mom guilt.
Your fuse shortens, and patience becomes a rare gem. Your toddler’s innocent question? Cue a surge of all the emotions as they run through your body. You’re a tightly coiled spring, ready to snap at the slightest provocation.
2. Physical Toll
Chronic dysregulation takes a toll on your body. Imagine your nervous system as a grumpy roommate – it messes with your sleep, digestion, and overall well-being.
Headaches, backaches, and mysterious twinges become your companions.
3. Sensory Overload
Lights are too bright, sounds too loud? Your nervous system cranks up the volume on everything. Ever need to turn down the volume on the radio to help navigate the road? Yeah, just like that!
You’re like a human antenna, picking up signals from every corner. Even the dog barking is too much.
4. Sleep Drama
Sleep becomes a high-stakes game. You’re either a night owl, binge-watching Netflix till 2 AM, or a daytime zombie, stumbling through life.
Your brain, fueled by insomnia, feels like a squirrel on espresso – darting from one thought to another. “Did I pay the water bill? What do I need from the store?”
5. Attention Whirlwind
Concentration? Ha! Your brain juggles thoughts like a circus performer with flaming torches.
You start a task, get distracted by another task, and end up organizing the sock drawer.
6. Appetite Roller Coaster
Your relationship with food is another roller coaster ride. One day, you devour a family-sized pizza; the next, you forget to eat altogether.
Your nervous system messes with your hunger cues. “Didn’t I just eat? I’m so bloated I feel full! I just want carbs and sweets!”
7. Immune System Tango
Dysregulation messes with your internal GPS. Suddenly, stress-induced colds and hormonal imbalances waltz into your life.
8. Social Acrobatics
Social situations become tightropes. You’re balancing between “I need alone time” and “I miss adult conversation.”
Your nervous system toggles between “hermit crab” and “social butterfly.” Sometimes, you’re both at the same party.
The Role of Stress in Dysregulation
Stress – that pesky gremlin – loves to poke our nervous system. Chronic stress, also known as toxic stress, is like an uninvited guest who overstays their welcome. Here’s how it wreaks havoc:
1. Activation and Dysregulation: Chronic stress activates our stress response systems repeatedly and excessively. Imagine your nervous system as a car alarm that never stops blaring. It’s not adaptive; it’s downright annoying.
2. Cardiovascular Drama: Chronic stress is associated with cardiovascular diseases. Your heart races like it’s in a sprint, even when you’re just reading a grocery list. It’s like your heart’s auditioning for an action movie.
3. Insulin Resistance: Stress messes with your body’s sugar management. Suddenly, insulin – that diligent traffic cop – starts waving cars in all directions.
4. Cognitive Decline: Chronic stress turns your brain into a tangled web of thoughts. Concentration? Rational decisions? Nope. You’re juggling mental post-it notes in a windstorm.
5. Mood Disorders: Bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, and anhedonia (the joy-sucking ghost) are part of the landscape. Stress assumes a hidden role, and mental health disorders are actively present.
6. The Bear That Isn’t There: Your stress response gears up for a bear attack. But guess what? There’s no bear – just a pile of unfolded laundry. Your nervous system needs new glasses.
The importance of self-care for mothers with a dysregulated nervous system
As moms, we often find ourselves juggling flaming torches (metaphorically, of course) while riding the unicycle of motherhood on a tightrope. But amidst the chaos, self-care becomes our secret weapon – the oxygen mask we need before assisting others.
Why Self-Care Matters for Moms
1. Replenishing the Well:
Imagine your well-being as a well... When you constantly draw water (energy, patience, love) from it without replenishing, it runs dry. Self-care refills that well.
Moms infuse those around them with their own energy. By taking care of ourselves, we can give more to others – our kids, partners, and everyone else in our orbit.
2. Stress Management:
Motherhood can be a stormy sea. Self-care is our life raft. It helps manage stress, prevent burnout, and keep our emotional ship afloat.
When we practice self-care, we build practical coping skills to weather the tempests. It’s like having a sturdy anchor when the waves get rough.
3. Physical and Mental Health:
Self-care reduces the risk of future medical issues. A healthier mom means a healthier family.
It safeguards our mental health too. As we practice self-care, we learn to reduce the impact of depression and anxiety.
4. Modeling for Our Kids:
Children mimic their parents. When they see Mom prioritizing self-care, they learn its value.
We’re not just teaching them how to tie shoelaces; we’re showing them how to tie emotional knots too.
Strategies for Regulating the Nervous System
As moms, we’re like circuit breakers – handling surges of emotions, responsibilities, and the occasional toddler meltdown. Here’s our toolkit for smoother functioning:
1. Breathe: Inhale Courage, Exhale Chaos
Deep breaths are our secret weapon. They activate the parasympathetic system – our chill pill. Imagine inhaling courage and exhaling chaos.
Try this: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat until you feel it in your body.
2. Move: Shake Off Stress Like a Wet Dog
Dance, walk, or do yoga – anything to shake off stress. Picture yourself as a wet dog, vigorously shaking off water after a bath.
Movement releases endorphins – our natural mood boosters. Plus, it’s a legit excuse to dance like nobody’s watching.
3. Connect: Hug Your Kids, Call a Friend, Pet a Dog
Connection soothes frazzled nerves. Hug your kids – their giggles are like mini therapy sessions.
Call a friend. Vent, laugh, or discuss the latest embarrassing thing you did or that mom guilt you feel. Friends are like emotional vitamins.
4. Sleep: Prioritize Those Zzz’s
Your nervous system craves sleep like a toddler craves cookies. Prioritize those Zzz’s.
Create a bedtime ritual: dim lights, cozy blankets, and a cup of chamomile tea. Your brain will thank you.
5. Seek Professional Help: Emotional GPS
Therapists, coaches, and support groups are our emotional GPS. They guide us through the labyrinth of feelings.
It’s okay to ask for directions. Sometimes, we need a detour to find our way back to calm.
Seeking Professional Help for Nervous System Dysregulation
If you’re grappling with a dysregulated nervous system, seeking professional help is a crucial step toward healing. As moms, we often carry the weight of the world on our shoulders – juggling responsibilities, emotions, and the occasional Lego underfoot. But remember, you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) navigate this alone.
Understanding the Struggle
Long after a traumatic event has passed, our nervous system can remain on high alert, like a car stuck in “go” mode while simultaneously trying to minimize internal chaos. It’s as if we’re pressing both the accelerator and the brake pedal, desperately seeking equilibrium. Childhood trauma, chronic stress, and emotional overload can all contribute to this dysregulation.
Breaking Free with Mom Coaching
That’s where I come in. I’m Kelly, a mom coach with a master’s degree in counseling and a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst. As a once anxiety-ridden mom of four, I’ve turned my pain into purpose. My personalized one-on-one coaching is designed to fit seamlessly into your jam-packed schedule. No more stressing about weekly sessions – we communicate through a secure app, leaving voice, video, or text messages whenever you need support.
Think of me as your continuous cheerleader while you kick guilt to the curb!
Conclusion: Empowering mothers to heal and thrive
Dear mom, you’re more resilient than you realize. Peel off that invisible mask, embrace your nervous system’s quirks, and know that healing begins with compassion – for yourself and every other mom riding this rollercoaster. Let’s thrive together, one deep breath at a time.
Key Takeaways:
You’re Not Alone: The invisible struggle is real, but so is your strength. Other moms are navigating similar waters – sometimes with leaky boats and mismatched oars.
Self-Care Is Survival: Prioritize self-care; it’s not selfish. Delegate tasks, say no, and schedule “me time.” A well-regulated mom is a superhero in disguise.
Regulate and Recalibrate: Use strategies like deep breathing, movement, and seeking professional help. You’re not just a frazzled wire; you’re a conductor weaving chaos into a beautiful melody.
Remember, you’re not just a mom and you’re not just your dysregulated symptoms. There is purpose, passion and JOY in your life and I would love to help guide you to find it all again….maybe it’s re-defined now at this chapter, but you deserve all of it!!!!
With Love and Imperfection,
Kelly
