Christian Counselor Directory Blog

For many of us staying healthy through the holidays may be challenging. There may be extra stress of many types and more temptation to eat unhealthy foods and to over-eat. What can we do?
Here's some suggestions:

1. Get plenty of fluids, especially pure water: at least 40 oz/day. Consider keeping a thermos of healthy soup with you.
2. Get plenty of rest. 
3. For those with difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep: daily healthy eating, stress management including moderate exercise such as walking, and prayer will reduce problems with these. Psalms, Proverbs in the Bible may provide guidance.
4. Some suggestions for dealing with stress: #1. make a list of all the things that feel like stressors and how you feel about each one, share your feelings with the Lord in prayer. #2. Make a list of at least 3 things you are thankful for each day. #3. Consider joining a small group at church. #4. If you have a Christian counselor reach out to them as needed.
5. Healthiest foods: most vegetables, especially natural sweet potatoes or yams. Most fruits, especially berries, cranberries. At least 60-90 grams of protein/day. Start with a 20-30 gram breakfast smoothie.
6. the Dr. Oz show website has suggestions including a Holiday Breakfast Smoothie and suggestions for eating before going to the holiday gathering.

Why is it that most people just don't seem to like Mondays? Mondays represent the beginnings of a new day of the work week and for many of us we dread another week of work. We wish the week ends would go on and on and we could continue to play or do whatever we were doing during the weekends. Maybe we have to get up early on Mondays and we hate getting up early. We look forward to sleeping in on the weekends when we don't have to work. How horrible to be in a job that you dread going to. I've been there. It saps all the life out of you. It drains the energy out if you. And you begin to look like poor Garfield in the picture. Who wants to live life like that? That is no way to live.

So what do you do? I think you have to make a decision first of all that you don't want to live that way no matter how great that paycheck might be, how great those benefits are or whatever the reasons are that are keeping you in that job that feels more like a prison than a blessing. You have to look for what your passion(s) is (or are) and go for that. That will make you feel energized and alive. You will feel like you have a purpose to be doing what you have a passion for, even if you don't make a lot of money at it. And strangely enough if you have passion for it you probably will make money at it. And more than likely you will be good at it too because if you have a passion for it you will put the time and energy into it and that means you will be learning and doing and excelling. Wow how can you lose!

Now, you'll never hate Mondays again. I am self employed. I look at my job completely different than maybe a lot of people. I went on a horse camping trip recently, and don't get me wrong-I LOVE horse camping trips and would love to be out there all the time, but I also LOVE my job too, so when we got back my friend called me after I got back to work and said "So how does it feel to be back to work after the trip?". I immediately thought "Oh it is wonderful I am sooo glad to have clients to see", but then I hesitated and thought "oh no, I think he wants to hear that I am sad to be back away from the trip" and so I wasn't sure what to say for a minute. I can't really remember what I ended up saying. But I don't hate Mondays. Of course, I take Mondays off. But, I don't hate Tuesdays, either, because I enjoy the opportunity I am given to work and be around the clients I have. I have a passion and I am doing it. Find your passion and do it!

It’s amazing how things change once your husband starts to talk with a counselor or marriage coach after you’ve discovered he has sexually betrayed you. Finding out that your husband has been unfaithful to you, or that he has been dabbling with pornography was incredibly hurtful. Perhaps, this is the situation you’re in right now, and you need a little bit of encouragement about whether or not this is going to work for your marriage.

Here are three things you and your husband will notice fairly quickly when he decides to seek help by honestly sharing his feelings and struggles with a professional. Remember, the goal for both of you is freedom from those habits that are doing damage to your relationship and your marriage.

HE BEGINS TO COOPERATE WITH GOD
Amazing things start to happen when we cooperate with God. This is true even if we’re hesitant or if we doubt that it will make a difference in our lives. God understands our reluctance to change as human beings, but when your husband reaches out to Him, there’s an incredible transformation that takes place in him from the inside out. You’ll notice that he’ll become authentic, he’ll take ownership for the mistakes he made, and he is willing to do whatever it takes to create safety and security in your relationship. One surefire sign that you husband is serious about changing is his desire to lead spiritually in the marriage. He is eager to read a daily devotional with you, is happy to help the children dress for church and takes time to pray with you. He’ll begin to see that freedom from the chains of infidelity and dishonesty is possible because he is getting honest with God and you.

HE STARTS TO VALUE YOUR MARRIAGE
As God begins to work in your husband, he will start to remember how he felt about your marriage when you first got married. The passion will start to rekindle in his heart, only it will be renewed with God’s power behind it. He’ll have a deep desire to heal because it will mean healing himself as well as the pain he has caused for you. He does what it takes to take care of you and expresses his love though various caring behaviors that are meaningful to you. In a way, it’s as if God opens his eyes to the plans He has for your marriage, and that is such a great revelation.

HE IS FOCUSED ON INTEGRITY
As God transforms your husband and gains understanding of how important your marriage is, a deeper level of integrity will be born within his heart. He will desire accountability from you, his coach or counselor and support group. He gives you username and passwords to access his phone, social media accounts, checking and savings accounts. There is radical honesty in every aspect of his personal life. He maintains his commitment to you and your marriage for the long haul, but most of all, he will desire it to maintain his commitment to God. Honesty will become important to him, and he’ll be thrilled with the changes in himself because of his honesty. That’s because when he’s finally doing the right thing and making good decisions, he’ll be able to sleep at night again and he’ll feel good about himself. It will take time for you to begin to trust your husband again. But if he is consistent with his actions that trust will slowly begin to rebuild.
It’s really amazing what happens when we get answers for addictions that have plagued us for years. God is the answer, and as Christian marriage coaches and counselors in Beaufort, SC, we would love to help you discover that answer for your marriage.

Whether you’re a woman who is praying fervently that her husband wants to save your marriage or you’re a husband who is searching for help, turning to God can change everything for your marriage.

Shock. Disbelief. Confusion.

Perhaps those are the emotions you experienced the moment you realized your husband (wife) was unfaithful or involved in a serious marital betrayal. Even if you suspected it for quite some time, deep down, you prayed that it wouldn’t be true. You tried to reason your suspicions away, but you kept coming up with more reasons why they were real.

At times, when you tried really hard, you were able to forget about them for a while and just focus on what was good about your marriage. However, before long, there they were again. Eventually, you knew you had to act on them.

Whether you asked your husband (wife) about his infidelity and he finally came clean with you, or you found out because of his inability to cover up his indiscretions any longer, the pain you’re feeling is very real. You feel betrayed and humiliated. You also feel lost and alone.

As a woman who lived through the realization that my husband was unfaithful, I understand how a serious marital betrayal feels. I immediately felt as though I had married a stranger, because this man couldn’t possibly be the same person. When I realized that he didn’t love me anymore, it was hard to allow that thought to sink in. As it did, it seemed as though my life would crumble before my eyes.

More than anything, I thought that something could be done to help him. Surely I could convince him that our marriage was worth working on and saving. He must know his infidelity was a mistake and if I was patient enough or if I tried enough possible solutions, something would click eventually, wouldn’t it? After all, we had kids together, and he loved me at one point…didn’t he?

Before long I realized that when nothing changed I had to let go of these false hopes. I had to realize that the love we once had just wasn’t there anymore. He had made a decision to stop loving me, and that was something I needed to accept if I was ever going to be the person God intended for me to be. I needed to accept it if I was going to find healing.

If this is an issue you’re facing in your marriage, please know that you are not alone. Not only have I been there, I also know that God is also with you every step of the way, just like He was with me.

Sometimes it’s not until we see how closely God has held us through all of our trials that we can understand how much He really loves us. I want to invite you to join me as I open my life to you for the purpose of helping you find healing from the pain in your marriage. We serve a good God, and His plans are always for our benefit and prosperity, regardless of the circumstances we may find ourselves in.